she was so not down for the gang bang
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize