Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Nicole vs. Life
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
