i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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