I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
