I'm so fucking centered right now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
