My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You can't motorboat a personality
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
