he wants to bone in the snuggie
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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