Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
