i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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