So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
