ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
