Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.