Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
