Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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