So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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