I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
