Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
