There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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