you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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