I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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