Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
