I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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