I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she smelled like a LAN party
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
