Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
