Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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