i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Even my vagina gasped.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
