I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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