really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize