I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
