take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Drake has all the answers
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
