im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
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