Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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