sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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