this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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