he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
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He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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