dude i'm inner monologue high
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.