Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.