after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.