Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
