He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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