Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
