I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
and she was petting her beer can
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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