Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
