I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
