you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
