new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
