Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
