Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can text with my tongue
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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