My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My penis needs a shock collar
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
