So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
