Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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