I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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