its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
