I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
