I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
So vagazzling was a success
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
