so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
