The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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