it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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