ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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