He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
