I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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