No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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