david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
