those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
